Tickertape
by charlie ch-chasin sha d o w s
Summary: First time at the Cullen house, Bella fall asleep and see's her entire future, including her daughter.When she wakes, she tries to change her life, erasing all the bad things. But crossing the stars is ill advised, and non who do meet a happy end.
1. Chapter 1

_Oh mi gosh guyz! I went to sign in last week and my account had been deleted! So here is the re-post! I have to rewrite some of the chapters I lost so it might take a while! I have 1 and 2! But not 3 and 4! I hope everyone finds it okay! And as for my other work, that's on my laptop and may be a while until upload!_

_Please review all you new readers!_

Tickertape

Chapter one

_Cut and Paste_

I opened my eyes from the darkness to be dazzled by the bright lights that cascaded in broken ray through the glass, spectrums glancing off the rain drops that clung to the transparent surface or the window.

My head was heavy as it lay on my hand, my first thought was panic. Not being accustomed to the idea of sleep due to my change in life style, the first thoughts that ran through my head were questions laced along with harried thoughts of my family.

"Edward!?" My voice was loud and high pitched almost a cry of panic but I did not have chance to fret before he was at my side, his hand on my cheek, his mouth forming a comforting smile.

"You finally woke up I see," He grinned down at me, his amber eyes alight with happiness. I did not respond to his statement my thoughts still panicking, longing to know the wear about of my daughter.

"Where is Renesmee?" I demanded of my husband, quickly picking my body from the sofa were I had been lying.

I recognised the room I was in as Edward small room in the main house, still much the same as it had always been, but different to my recent memories some way, though I could not pick it out.

As I stood on unstable legs, Edwards hand grasped my elbow as if to steady me,

"Bella, who is Renesmee?" He asked, his brow furrowing in concern as he refused to relinquish his hold on my arm.

I could hear a soft soprano voice issuing from the lower level, so without a thought I threw myself along the corridors and down the stairs to see Alice speaking with Jasper walking towards the stairs herself. I knew Edward was stood close behind me, I could hear his breathing as I jogged toward Alice. She grinned at me brightly, her topaz eyes sparkling merrily.

"Alice!" I exclaimed, throwing myself into her arms as if I hadn't seen her in a long time.

"Bella, what are you-" Edward began, but I cut across him sharply.

"Where is Renesmee?" I asked her hurriedly still grasping her upper arms.

"Renesmee?" She asked looking back at Jasper for a clue. "What is Renesmee?"

"Rosalie!" I spotted my tall blonde sister walking from the door that lead to the garage, flicking her curls over her shoulder, her eyes narrowed to a glare. "You have Renesmee, right?" I said knowing full well that Rosalie of all my siblings loved my daughter the most. She just scoffed stalking past me.

I began to breathe erratically as panic flooded me.

"Where's Renesmee!?" my voice was now raised as I stared with wide eyes at my family as all had gathered in the living area to see the fuss I was making. "Where is she!?" My voice echoes off the high ceiling, but all remained silent.

"Carlisle," Edward looked towards his father, worry etched on his face.

"Is she with Jake?" I asked, finding some hopeful possibility that I had not proven untrue.

"Who is Jake?" Edwards's voice was sharp and clean cut; efficient as well as rehearsed to hide all emotion, though his lips curled with a slight jealousy.

"Bella," Carlisle approached me slowly as if not to startle me, as if he were approaching a mentally unsound being. "Who are these people? When did you meet them?"

"What?" I asked, my voice raising several octaves in my panic. "They're not figments of my imagination or anything!"

"Okay," Carlisle lead me to the couch by my elbow, his touch was gentle, sitting me down on it, he knelt in front of me, holding one of my hands in both of his.

"What is your name?" He asked softly.

"Bella Cullen," I answered swiftly as if it were a lyric or poem, feeling the pleasure of it rolling from my tongue. Rosalie sniggered and I looked at her in a panicked confusion.

"How old are you?" He asked a second question, his expression giving nothing away.

"19 in human years, but 18," I said, grinning through my panic at my preferred age.

"Where do you live?" His gold eyes now echo worry.

"Here practically," I laughed a little. "But the cottage in the forest." I answered, my mind drifting to the cosy rooms of the small home.

"Now, tell me who these people are, Renesmee and Jacob," He was treating me like I was mad as I began to shake erratically, tears spilling down my cheeks.

I snatched my hand from Carlisle in horror, pressing my hands to my cheek to feeling my damp cheek, more tears rolling as I recognised human tears glistening on my peachy skin.

"Please," I begged, looking Carlisle straight in the eyes. "I just want my daughter."

"Carlisle," Edwards panicked voice rose above all else as he sat beside me, pulling me into his chest as I began to sob.

"What's happened to her?" He was now erratic himself as he smoothed down my hair.

"You don't have a daughter, Bella. Remember?" He whispered softly, his lips brushing my ear. "Your name is Bella Swan, you live with your father, and you're 17 years old." He began to tell me about my former self, but not the one I am now.

"No," I choked. "I live here, I have a daughter, and I'm married!" I held my left hand out to see it bare, not wedding band around my finger. "Why are you pretending?" I demanded. "What are these stupid games?" I pulled myself from Edwards's arms, glaring at them all accusingly. "Who are you?" I didn't understand the accusation I had just made, though nor did I care, I just wanted my daughter back.

"These people, they were a dream," Carlisle explained weakly. "You been asleep for hours," He rose to his full height, his topaz eyes soft and understanding.

"A dream," I repeated.

The room felling silent apart from my erratic breaths.

"This may not be the best time, but I have a weather announcement," Alice broke the silence with her loud voice.

"Have I been here before now?" I whispered, my eyes dropping to the floor, my words falling from a whim.

"No," Rosalie's harsh voice bounced off me, only the word registering.

"You've never been here before Bella, darling." Esme spoke kindly from behind Carlisle, her hands clasped in front of her.

"I know the weather tonight," My voice echoes dully in my own head as I relived one of the worst night of my life.

"Entertain me," Alice chirped her face open and friendly.

"Thunder storm?" I asked timidly.

"Correct!" She grinned. "And we know what that means," She smiled at her family, her excitement bubbling to the surface.

"Baseball," I whispered fear drenching me to the bone, the unusual beating of my heart increasing.

"Would you like to come, Bella?" Alice chirped, unaffected by my knowledge.

"No." I said quickly.

"It'll be fun-"

"I said no, Alice," I snapped. Her eyes widened with hurt at my harsh words. I swallow nervously, "Sp-sports aren't my thing," I tried to erase my mistake hastily.

"Oh, okay..." Alice gave me a half smile.

The future was laid out for me to see like the pages of a book, I just had to cut out my least favourite parts... But what will be the consequences?

_**Review?**_


	2. Chapter 2

_Tickertape_

_Chapter 2 _

_Stars_

The sun seemed to scar my skin with lines of colour. I held my hand away from my face, examining the matt white of my skin, more preoccupied with my own than Edwards. It's dull surface was strange to me, this whole scenario was so strange but I found it strangely easy to accept. What I had scene was a privilege, I had scene my perfect future, my goal. Now I just had to make it happen, cutting out all the bad parts. I hadn't said anything for a while, just took in the sun light, barley giving Edward a second look. I could see that this worried him in a way it shouldn't have. He shifted uncomfortably, hugging his knees to his chest as I lay on my back. I looked towards him, squinting in the white light that scattered off his skin.

"You're not afraid?" His voice was just audible above the wind but carried that hint of hidden emotion.

"No... I...I've seen it all" I shared my private smile, hiding my grin behind my hair.

Silence passed awkwardly between us. I could see his mind replaying the event from the house only hours before. I coughed awkwardly, kicking myself for the stupid comment, at the same time, realising the way he met my eyes was so different form the way he had last looked at me, when we were a real family. His eyes were a mess of dark temptation, longing and anger, something I had read as attraction and desire, though not the intimate love of my husband.

"We should be getting back," Edward rose fluidly from the ground, his eyes casting toward the grey sky, flashes of lightening carving veins of gold into the clouds, thunder shaking the ground.

I stumbled and tripped my way along the trail, my hair catching in brambles and my sleeves snagging on branches. Edward waited patiently for me each time, helping me often when the path was steep or particularly jagged.

I was busy tugging my shoes lace from where if had threaded itself through a thorny hedge when I was wrenched from the ground and thrust harshly behind Edwards back. He held me behind him as he turned three-sixty, searching all distances, and then the feeling of fear crashed over me.

"What is it?" I whispered, my quick breathes breaking the question.

"Run,"

My arm almost came out of its socket and it was tugged terribly hard to one side and I began to run, stumbling over rocks. Trees flashed by in blurs and it felt as though I was flying the speed I was being pulled along. He didn't stop as we came to a steep and rocky hill, practically a cliff to my struggling feet. As we picked up speed, charging down the hill, my feet left the ground and I tightened my arms and the new hold about Edwards's neck.

My body collided hard with the earth, my head narrowly missing a rock close by. Picked myself up as fast as my body would allow, seeing Edward already on his feet from his fall, a primal grown rolling from his chest.

James stood across from him, his eyes on me rather and his aggressor. My brain struggled to paste the situation together; all I could do was prevent him hunting me.

"What?"My scream was hoarse with the tears adding to the effect I desired, though they were not from my acting skills. The stars were against me, there's nothing I can to stop this happening, _but I've got to try._

"Are you in on it too?" I turned my wide eyed terror on Edward, though I knew I was never good at acting. Edward turned to meet my eyes. He blinked one for an extended amount of time.

"Shut up before I decide to kill you now." His voice carried a menacing drawl so similar to James' that it had me sinking back to the ground, limbs shaking, half believing that he would actually damage me.

"Dinner, I see," James chuckle was menacing as he shared a sly, greasy smile with Edward. "She certainly smells," Hr sampled the air, "Mouth-watering"; his eyes were on me like a hawk.

"More than lunch," a suggestive laugh left Edward lips as he raised his eyebrows at James though his eyes were repulsed by his own words and by the comments made my James. I was the little things that gave him away. The slight harsh tilt of his head, and the rough flexing of his neck, the way he rolled his wrists and tensed his fingers, the way he dug the front of his shoes into the soil as if it would somehow hold him back.

"No point in wasting her I suppose," James was crouch before me, his breath choking me as it drifted across my face. "Like fine wine, these things should be," He stood up, taking a few steps back, "Savoured." He purred. I longed to reach my hand out, to hear the metallic wrench of the tearing this skin; to feel the soft resistant's of the mussel, to smell the intoxicating aroma of this burning flesh.

I tensed my neck slightly, raising a growl from my chest though all that escaped was a small and pathetic whimper.

Edward swung me over his shoulder; I attempted to put up a convincing fight.

"Bad luck," James purred in my ear, "I would have made it quick." And with that he was gone from the clearing, leaving me to sobs my fear out onto Edward shirt as he switched to carry be bridal style. I continued to sob as he carried me back to Charlie's house, my home now, I suppose.

As we got to my front porch, I began to struggle against Edwards arms.

"Let me down now," I demanded, sniffing back the tears.

"No." He answer was short, an angry undertone threatening to anyone, but me.

"Just let me down, Edward." My anger bubbled furiously to the surface as he set my down, my knees almost immediately buckling. He caught me, of course. But I angrily swatted his hands away, insisting that I was fine. I patted my pockets in search of a key, finding them, I opened my front door. I stopped just inside, deliberating slamming the door shut behind me, but I didn't and He followed me in, much to my annoyance.

I didn't want this now. I didn't want to watch the hurt in his eyes and the self direct torment. I didn't want him fussing over me, having his father give me an all over health check including a full body scan.

I filled the kettle, pressing the button down. I hadn't realised how much I missed coffee. Mixing the instant with milk and hot water, I went to sit down in the living room, falling onto the cushions with a heavy sigh. Edward, who had remained silent the whole time, remained standing, his eyes not looking at me, but at some distant place, but the expression on his face was terrible.

His jaw was crushed together, his mouth turning down at the corners. His eyes were harsh and could not have looked more terrible if they had been bleeding.

"Bella," He finally said, his hard eyes now looking at me with an intense and deadly serious stare. "You should go and live with your mother, in Phoenix."

"You're breaking up with me." The painful sentence came with a heavy sigh and hurt bubbled in my stomach and old wounds began to tear open my heart. I coughed to hide the gasp that would have been choked with the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks.

It's strange how I had forgotten that burning sensation; the one that really hurts your eyes and nose just before you cry. So many human traits I had forgotten, but not missed.

He remained silent, neither confirming nor denying my statement. I was loosing him again.

"You can't leave me!" I blurted out, the tears now rolling freely as I stared intently at him; pouring every emotion I have into the connection between us.

"I'm here," He was suddenly next to me, cupping my face in his hands. "Where else am I going to go?"

He kissed my lips in a soft controlled way. I leaned into it, moving up onto my knees to push my full weight into it, moving his hands from my face to my waist, and then placing my own around the back of his neck. I was leaning over him, fully into the kiss and I could feel his restraint wavering when he gently pushed me backwards until I was lying back against the arm of the couch far from him as possible. I sighed heavily, leaning back, folding my arms defiantly across my chest.

Sudden inspiration had me reaching around my mind for the elastic like shield that contained my thoughts. I flexed it for a moment before pushing it away, not with out a slight effort, but I could hold it.

_We could have a beautiful future._

"No we couldn't, Bella. We're so different. It like trying to push magnets together, we can try, but it will never work." He turned his eyes on me, as he hadn't been looking before. A slight smile pushed past my desperation as I was eager to see him realise that I was not speaking.

_We don't have to be so different. Change me._

His hands were back, cupping my face again as he kneeled before me. "How did you do that?" He voice was breathless and eager.

_Kiss me._

His lips were on mine as we moulded together like two pieces of a jigsaw made for each other, and when fitted together, like intended, we create a beautiful picture.

"Where's Charlie?" Edward murmured into my neck as I gasped for breath.

"Seattle," I breathed


	3. Chapter 3

Tickertape

Chapter 2 Vacillation and Vengeful Venom

It had been a week, and not a word from him. It wasn't as if he didn't go to school, because he always did. But for the entire week, I didn't hear a word from him. I knew he was there; stood outside my kitchen window, sat on my front porch, but he never rung the doorbell. I tried to drive to his house, but when I did, no one answered the door. Come the beginning of term I was beginning to worry, that he had left... had he? But as I walked into Bio that morning, I had never been so relieved. He was sat there, brooding as usual, but something that was not usual was where he sat. Instead of sitting on our desk in the far right, he had moved to the far left. I was taken a back at first. As I walked towards the back of the class room, I had to decide: Sit next to him? Or Take my usual place? I scowled at him scornfully as I took my usual place, slamming my bag onto his seat and withdrawing my notepad.

The lesson rattled on, as did the next few days as he still refused to talk to me. Every day, he just stood, and stared, deflected every attempt I made at conversation. I was definitely beginning to panic. I was back at step one. Either that or he was about to leave me... again. As the second week tolled, I was at melt down point. Anxiety was over ruled by anger and I charged towards him that morning, my furious feet dragging me across the parking lot, well, as fast as they could. I was weak, my limbs were thin and bony, I had large bags beneath my bloodshot eyes and my skin was pasty and sickly.

He was stood beside his car as I approached, his arms folded casually across his chest, his hair in its usual disarray.

"What is your issue?" I demanded, crossing my arms in imitation of him, and stamping my foot in a child like manner, almost toppling over in the process.

He gazed calmly over my head at the other students, a mild expression on his face.

"Hey!" I raised my voice. "I'm talking to you." I shoved both my hands into the chest, a futile attempt to convey my anger as he didn't move and inch, my hands hitting the stone chest painfully. He turned his gaze on me, and I stumble backward at what I saw. Fir; burning and consuming, raging and destroying his mind; it whipped up that casual expression but still singed the eyes and grim line of the mouth, devouring the smile that refused to show and the eyes that so often closed to hide the inferno that torched his conscious mind with an ungodly fire.

"Bella." His voice was cut and sharp like glass. The tortured sound was like nails being dragged across a chalk board.

"Edward..." I fell towards him, by arms wrapping around the statue form of his body as I sobbed into his chest for a completely irrational reason that even I did not understand. But as I pressed my body harder against his is an attempt to fix what I had done, I then remembered the reason I had taken to wearing oversized shirts to school.

I jumped backwards, fighting the need to rest my hands on the swollen bump hidden beneath my shirt, because as I had planned, I had fallen pregnant. I could feel her growing every day, my Renesmee. I had no doubt it was her. Me and him, we were only ever meant to have one child, and that was her. The pregnancy was as bad as the last. I needed human blood, but had no way of getting it. I needed to tell him... but I couldn't...

Judging by my size, I had around fourteen weeks left, and that was hardly any time to say it was a pregnancy. And I knew I had to tell him sometime, just I could never bring myself too, that and the fact he wasn't talking to me much anymore. What was I planning to do, deliver this baby on my own? She'd kill me... and that'd kill him... and it was my selfish fault...

"I'm so sorry," I blurted out, shuffling my feet awkwardly, watching them shift the gravel around as an excuse to not looking into the blaze that threatened to consume me as well, though I could still feel it beginning to burn my own eyes.

"You have _nothing_ to be sorry for." He words were clear and definite as he stared into me, his expression hard as stone and as mechanical as any robot.

"But it was all my-"

"No, Bella." He spoke through gritted teeth, his hands fallen to his side and his fists clenched, the bones of his knuckles strained again the stony flesh. "It is not _your fault. _It all _mine. _The _weakness_ is _mine_, Bella. I can_ feel_ it. Hell is burning me from the inside out. And every time I look at you, it's nothing but guilt!" He spat, reaching his hands up to his face to hide his eyes as he turned his head away from me, clawing his fingers across his forehead.

"But... Nothing happened, I'm safe, Edward... I'm here..." I reached my hand up to pull his hand from his face.

"But... what if, Bella? What if I had killed you? I would not be able to stand myself. Selfish, selfish, selfish!" He cursed clenching fistfuls of hair, and I gripped the one I had even tighter. "I would hate my reflection more and more and..." He trailed off, pausing in a deep thought. "And... that is why we..."

_Can't be together, _I finished in my head. I wave of panic hit me as my breath quickened and my eyes widened as my mind raced for an escape, scars splitting in my chest.

I cut him off quickly. "Stop blaming yourself Edward. We can't be torn apart by this, it's stupid."

"Stupid that I want you alive?" His voice was dry and distraught as he turned his black eyes on me.

"No Edward," I reached both my hands up to cup his face, dragging my thumbs along the dark circles beneath his eyes, calming the flames that licked his irises, scorching them to black. "I love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you for eternity." I pressed y lips to his, but no smile tugged on them, so I relented, but never relinquished my hold on his arm for that whole day and night. He was running nowhere.

"Good morning!" Alice chirped as I opened the door to her the following morning. My huge knitted jumper I had dragged over my large shirt hid my feature brilliantly. She thrust a heavy clothing parcel into my hands, grinning. Expecting this, I had dragged the long sleeves over my hands to cover them ready for the paper to be shoved towards my delicate skin. She had taken to insisting on dressing me, but I never wore the clothes she brought. I felt terrible, but none of them would fit me.

"Thanks, Alice," I grimaced, glancing behind her for Edward. He had left last night. I didn't know what time he had left, nor why, I just hoped he was still here. I had fallen asleep; he'd obviously slipped from my grasp. I was just go tired these days, I couldn't attach myself to him 24/7, but that fact still did not calm the panic that shook my hand and stumbled my steps.

"Do you know where Edward is?" I asked her, leading her into the kitchen where I tossed her present onto the kitchen counter, her eyes followed it with disappointment as I reached for a bowl, cereal on the menu this morning.

"No." Her answer was curt, and was blatantly a lie.

"Seriously, Alice; where is he?" I demanded, settling down to the table, cardboard meal set in front of me.

"All I know is that he and Carlisle were having a conversation. One I didn't hear too clearly. Edward was very upset about something, and of course, Carlisle was calming him down." She shrugged, lifting herself to sit on the kitchen side, examining her nails.

Alice continued to talk, but I had drifted. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat; he could know about Renesmee, could he?

"It's going to be brilliant when you're one of us." She continued, glaring at the discarded package. "You'll be even prettier, and you'll be fast, and strong. You'll have all eternity to do everything you've always want to!" She smiled down at me, her mind undoubtedly skimming that vision she still held; and it would happen, eventually; but not just yet.

She continued to talk, and I continued to listen, "_umming"_ and _"arring" _where required, but as the sun dragged the blue of the sky below the land, she finally said goodbye, and I was left alone, still with not Edward.

I pulled my blankets tightly over my head as I sat in the warm dark, singing softly, rubbing circles across my abdomen, but my mind was troubled. I needed to tell him, I just didn't know when.

"I don't know what to do, Renesmee..." I sighed into the shadows.

"To do about what?" The voice came so suddenly that I leapt from my bed in panic... well, at least I tried to. I became tangled in the covers, only wrapping them tighter in my struggles until I was left immobilised to the sound of soft laughter.

"Calm down Bella, it's me." Edward chuckled, carefully unwrapping the bed cover before lying down beside me on the ruffled bed. I drew to covers around my body as my eyes strained in the dark to even see the pale outlines of his face.

"I've been thinking about a lot recently..." He began, lacing his fingers with mine. I took a sharp intake of breath, wrapping my spare arm about my chest. "And I think it's time you joined my family, properly." His statement was business like, but I could hear the underlying emotion bubbling to the surface.

The last time (if that's the right term) he proposed, it had been a similar business... not exactly, but Edward never changed. I was still excited though, even though, for me, I was marrying the second time. I suppose you're wondering why I don't just tell him that I had this "_dream"?_ Well, the first time you went to your boyfriend's house, and met his family for the first time, would you turn around and say that you have experienced a whole other life with him? One where you were married and had a child? I know that these people aren't exactly normal, but even that would be classed as insanity.

But back to the present, and his proposal.

"Yes!" I screamed, almost a cheer as I threw my arms around him, carefully angling my body.

"But are you certain?" He asked hugging me back gently.

"I am absolutely certain!" I squealed.

"There's a lot to take into consideration, Charlie especially." He reasoned, pulling back to look at my face.

"It'll work, he'll be fine with it, I know him."

He looked doubtful, but nodding his head, he let a grin split his face as he hugged me again, planting a small kiss on my lips.

"I'll pick you up in the morning, as we can get the wheels turning." He kissed me one last time before departing, allowing me to sleep. Tomorrow will be a good day.


End file.
